GOODTHINGSDON'TLASTFOREVER

My mind shifted. No longer lovin this space like how i used to, that explains my constant absence . Again not like anyone reads this . Im waiting for the moment when such feelings towards smth else occurs again, smth else like a boy that has been driving me insane for several months. Don't expect any updates anymore, well but not forever.

http://sinkyourteethintobizarredreams.tumblr.com/

things are simpler there, truer too. but don't expect explicit explanations of my feelings.

WITHOUTYOU

I hate goodbyes. I'm feeling so empty right now , it's like i hate how everything reminds me of you but then again i miss you so badly i can bleed.You've just left me for about 45 mins but it seems like it has been forever. The room is still in a mess with all the remnants of your junks. I've always wanted you to clear up all the mess in our room but now i want it to stay cos it's all i've left of you. I'm afraid that one day i shall come home and see the room to be so clean that it amplifies your absence cause those are the only things that still hold your smell . You're one of a kind and i know i can never find anyone just like you, someone who i can tell everything to, when i say everything i mean everything. Someone who will be there in the middle of the night when i'm crying my heart out. Now, I don't know who to look for when i want to just come home and tell someone about my day in school, about the boy that is making me insane, about the incidents that i won't forget, about my soccer training, about my classmates. A few months back, when you told me you were planning to go to the States , it seems like it would never happen , little did it jolt me that you were gna leave and i am suppose to be strong and live here on my own. I hate how nothing lasts forever . It really breaks my heart to see you go because you are like my own sister and and its painful not knowing how a future without you is gonna be like. p.s i downloaded skype just for you(God bless the technology). I know we have to move on cos life is constantly chaning and all i can do is to wish you well over there. Take care my dear, i really really hope we'll meet in December before you really go for good.I love you.

FUCK

so pissed so tired so in need of someone to talk to.
so empty , so sleepy , so lethargic,
so joyless so heartbroken so puzzled so unworthy
so misplaced so want to live on another planet.
i hate how unfair life is, how cynical people get.
how no one understands no matter how hard they try.
how miserable how unloved how scarred.

BLACKANDGOLD

ahh my fav video of all time i can watch this again and again.

WECOULDSTAYINTHISMOMENT

im bored! x100000000000000000000000000000000000000
ahhhh the only thing i feel like doing right now is to number 1. pack up ,number 2.fly home.
I miss mom n dad so much, i miss my bro,the food ,my room, my dog,my tv.
BUT no, gg back home= forsaking my social life. Mom called just now to ask if I'm having anything on today and when i mentioned BBQ she went like WHY EVERYDAY GOT SMTH ON 1? That's the diff about life here and life back home. What i do when im in Indo is basically waking up at 7am(yes and it's a holiday), breakfast with mom n dad,send mom to work ,go home, sleep,watch tv,pick mom from work, lunch,walk in the woods on alternate days/watch tv, wait for dinner, dinner out sometimes,wedding dinner every weekend(i'm serious, i have no idea abt the population in that small town i live in ,but wedding occurs so often to the extent that 1 time my parents had to attend 5 weddings on a Sunday)watch tv,sleep. HOW EXCITING! but somehow, no matter how slowly, time passes well and fine.
I promise! promise myself that this holiday(which is a month away, but it feels like 1 now), is going to be spent wisely and meaningfully.
Firstly, i'll knit something out
Then, i'll study!
and read a really good book!
also, drive well.
and DON'T GAIN WEIGHT!
plus GO JAKARTA!!! and find my dearest SHIERREN whom i miss like God know's how, and FINELLA who's leaving me in no time ( It feels like your boyf is gna leave u ok , it sucks im so used to seeing her everyday that i can't even stand the fact that she is out to town now, let alone US next yr, i think i'll just die and kill myself) and then my cousin and his very wonderful girlfriend nonetheless.
and i feel like flying to Kalimantan to find my mini cousins and to spend some time with my grandparents.
I'm not planning to argue or get into a fight with my parents this time round( it happened for a night the other time and it sux so much i won't let it happen again)
I can't wait for my Vietnam and Thailand trip too! whoo i hope i can get some awesome stuffs home from Bangkok.
Also, i wna ask koko to let me play soccer with his friends so that i can brush up my mediocre soccer skills(provided he dun mind)
Did i miss anything out? I don't think so.
AND I WNA CELEBRATE HALLOWEEN WITH ABCDE! hurry decide whr to go eh ppl cos i wna got with my hostel peeps too!=D
ahhh life's wonderful.

YOUGAVEMESOMETHINGICOULDHOLDONTO

Below are pictures of loots from Hajilane and us crashing spotlight to relive old times ,when we would do goofy things together. We used to have the chance to spend everyday together, the privilege to sing out of the blue together ,but now we only meet up like once a month. But it is still a blessing nonetheless, cause there's no awkwardness or whatsoever and we stil couldn't get enough of one another that we really want a sleepover soon. Watched Julie&Julia, its really nice, worth the 6 bux but one thing that i still don't quite understand is why would Julia hate Julie? There's practically no reason for her to bear hatred towards someone with such a good nature, especially when Julie is an avid fan of Julia. Well, unless they twist and turn the true story, which is very unlikely.

IWILLNEVERBERIGHT

it's a good thing we don't always get what we desire for.

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ahhh! i know how i can kill time before meeting up with mandy n eun for what the flea. watch my tristan n isolde dvd=DDD